Virtual friend.

I don’t know how to start this but it is really awkward for me too. But I really want to write about you because you are so special in my life. I know that I am no one to you but I hope that you will read this. Maybe. One fine day I guess. Everything started when,

One day, I saw you. It was like there has lights within you and you so stunning at that time. I could not take my eyes off you because you are like an angel. Lol. I know this is funny but it was the true. After that, I found your Instagram account and I started to be one of your follower. Well I can say that, you are so inpiring and outstanding. And you are good looking and smart . Everything is just perfect about you. Well, during the first semester, I am not s interested in you. Just see you from far. The funny thing is whenever I see you, I smile out of nowhere. It was like, you bring me the happiness everywhere.

Then I did it. During the semester break. I become your friend. Virtual friend for sure. Because you never know me. But you are so friendly. More friendly than strangers out there of course. You treat me so nice and you are so kind . At that time, I was like, “ I got a lucky friend!” Well since that day, I just being so happy and many good things happen. I’m sorry if I acted so childish to you. I love to share things with you because you are the one who inspired me . I’m so happy about it. Well, I was like so thankful because you just replied me and talk to me. 

Then, we decided to meet each other for the very first time. That day where I was so busy with my small shops of selling food. And you won in the running competition. You di a very good job so I want to treat you ice-cream float. Lol. Then you came. I was so awkward. Too awkward. Too shy. I just don’t know what to say and I just could be like, “ Oh yes. Okay.. Erm. Ahaa.” Lol. Such a fool me . But then the way how you smile to me. You look at me. Our eyes met. That time, you really make me falling in love with you. I just can’t forget that day. Because that day, everything is about you . And we took our very first and it might be the last photo of us.

Then, we rarely see each other. If we did, it kinda suprise me because it was like, unexpected meeting you . Haha it is funny . But after that day, I had problems to face. That night where I cried so hard like there is no tomorrow. Not because of you. Because me and my friends had an arguement . They were so mad when we met at that day. I don’t know why but we were so awkward and not so close for a few days. Well that time, I just be alone. I act like I am fine . Just hide my feelings. Sometimes, I felt like want to cry everytime when there has classes. But I could not do that. Just it hurts me a lot. Then, everything just get back to normal. But it was not the same as before.

Whenever we met, you was like, “Did we just met?” and I was like, “Yes we did.” Ahaha. I just smile and laughing like a fool . Then you help me on how to enter the volunteer works of the Sea Games. I did it . All thanks to you because you told me about the informations. We talk about a lot of things. You told me that you have relatives in Johor and Singapore. Same goes to me . And you said that we are so in common. Lol. Then, I told you to come to Johor. And you was saying that you are such a stranger and I got mad because you are my friend not a stranger anymore. Seriously I am really welcome you in Johor and I will be your tourist guide . Lol. Even though you know how is Johor Bahru. 

At the time when I want to go to the Sea Games Volunteering works, you sent me a photo where you in the bus on your way home while I already in the KTM train . I was quite suprise because you sent me that . I thought that we could meet at the KL Central but since you don’t have much more time so we could not make it . But it okay I’m just fine at that day. Then, everything gets back to normal and yeah just normal. I used to go to the library often with my friends because it will not make me sleepy and do my works . Because I tend to sleep early when I’m being in my room. Lol. Ignore my habit. Whenever I saw you in the library, I will send message to you and saying , “Don’t forget to look up on the night sky when you are on your way back to your room.”. I found out that the sky look so pretty every day with stars and the moon. I love to see the scenery because it just complete my day . What a girl living in a fantasy . Haha.

I gave you a lot of presents am I? Yes I do. Haha. I’m sorry. Because I love to give out presents to people that I care so much . One of them is you. The first thing that I gave to you is the journal book . I’m so glad that you are happy to receive the book. Thanks to Han Xin for helping me that day . I do love to write and doodles. I have a bunch of journal books and sketch books in my room. Haha. The second thing that I gave to you is the Ironman keychain during KMNS Open Day. Lucky that I found you that night to give out the keychain . And again we met and again so awkward for me. But you just act like everything is fine and smile . You thanked me. Well at that night, I really want to take a photo with you . But I was late I guess? Then you mad and said that why I’m not telling you earlier. And I was like, “I am so dumb.” But it okay. I am fine with it. 

I don’t know where it begun. I mean the mistakes that I did to you. Suddenly, you became such a cold guy and not friendly at all. I know that you are not like that. At that time, I understand when you told me that, “I end up hurt people’s feeling.” I know it is hard for you . But things can be solve. I don’t know how to say sorry.  Because I know, you won’t forgive me. There was a day , in the evening. Where I walk alone and looking at people that playing the soccer. And at the same time, you were walking as well in the opposite direction of mine. We actually met. But our eyes were looking at different place. I was about to say hi but I can’t. Because I know, you will not giving me the smile like how you always did. I don’t know how you feel but I do trust you until today. Then we end up being strangers again after matriculation. 

However, you still insipiring me until today. I wish that we could start over . Everyone has their own scars. And if I ever create a scar in your heart, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you . I just want to be friends. Because I never met someone like you . And I hope that you keep inspiring me till forever. 

Sincerely, Amirah Najwa Binti Hamid.